Breaking up is never easy, sometimes it is just as hard having to make the decision yourself to walk away. It’s difficult having to leave someone you love and at one point saw your future with. Every relationship is different and we all have things that make or break them. If you feel that your relationship isn’t adding anything positive to your life, its time to have a think about if you should continue with it. Below are the main points you should think about when trying to make a decision about your relationship.
1. RED FLAGS & DEALBREAKERS
This is top of the list because if these things are broken, you pretty much have your answer. Everyone has their own red flags and deal breakers, some lines just shouldn’t be crossed. How many little things have you let slide? Are these starting to a take a toll on your relationship because it isn’t what you want?
There are things that just shouldn’t be tolerated when it comes to the form of psychological or physical abuse, you need to get out of the relationship. No one deserves to be treated badly no matter what the person’s excuses are. Have a think about where you want to draw the line and stick to it. Don’t let someone walk all over you. Sometimes it isn’t obvious right away that someone is affecting your self-confidence and making you feel worthless. Little things like this are also damaging to you, pay attention.
2. THERE’S NO TRUST
Have you ever had that sinking feeling when you think that someone is lying to you? Yes, it’s horrible. Your partner shouldn’t make you feel this way, but also be honest if you are just feeling paranoid. Do you have past issues that you need to work on? Or does your partner do things that cause you to think that something is wrong? Either way, no trust in a relationship is never going to work out and it’s not healthy for either of you.
3. YOU HAVE DIFFERENT VALUES
When relationships begin it’s all exciting and new. You are getting to know this person and discovering things about them. Further down the line, you begin to find that the perfect image you had of them begins to crumble. We all know that no one is perfect but to survive in a relationship long term, it is so important to have the same values and want the same things out of life.
4. THERE ISN’T ANY FUN
Life has ups and downs, that’s just how it is. But if you are finding that there isn’t a lot of happiness in your relationship generally anymore, maybe its time to move on. Have a think first about why this might be and see if you can fix it, maybe its external factors and not your relationship that’s the problem.
5. YOU CAN’T PICTURE A FUTURE TOGETHER
If you are at this point, I think you have already made your decision. Why are you with someone that you can’t see your future with? You are wasting your time and chances of finding someone that you are excited about sharing it with.
The future of your relationship should be promising. It should make you look forward to doing things together. If this isn’t the case where is your relationship heading? Don’t end up missing out on the things you want just because someone else doesn’t want them.
6. YOU DOUBT THEIR FEELINGS FOR YOU
This comes back to trust. Maybe you feel like you can trust your partner but sometimes you can find yourself wondering if their feelings have changed for you. If you don’t face this and be upfront about it, you will end up feeling paranoid and as if you aren’t good enough for them. Eventually, the trust you had will diminish. If you feel they are doing something that makes you feel this way, you shouldn’t have to tolerate it.
7. ARGUING ALL THE TIME
Everybody has arguments and disagreements, but if you find that most of your interactions are negative or end in an argument, it’s not looking good. Life is difficult enough as it is, you don’t need your partner making things more difficult. Pay attention to how arguments are handled, are you left with silent treatment and being made to feel alone? Or are you able to communicate effectively and solve the issue at hand?
8. YOU AREN’T GETTING SUPPORT FROM YOUR PARTNER
Have you ever felt as though you are always giving but not receiving anything back in return? Relationships are a two-way street, if you are the one always giving, you will get burnt out. When in a relationship we want our partner to have a say in our life decisions and going after what we want. If you find that your partner isn’t supporting you, you may end up resenting them because you didn’t go after what you want in life. It is so important to be moving in the same direction and both wanting the same things out of life. After all, you should bring out the best in each other.
9. WILLING TO MAKE IT WORK
If you find you can agree with most of the previous 8 points, you definitely have a decision to make. Remember that it is also for the sake of your own health and happiness. Don’t feel stuck in an unhappy relationship because you are scared to be alone. There are many opportunities out there if you are open to trying them and going out and learning new things.
Before making the decision to call it quits you need to have a discussion with your partner. Talk about your issues and what you can both to do make it work. If your partner does not then make the effort to change, it is in your best interest to move on.
10. LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS
Only you can make this decision if you aren’t happy it’s so important to listen to your instincts. Deep down you probably know the answer that you are looking for. Walking away from someone you love is so difficult but sometimes we outgrow relationships or they don’t serve us anymore. Maybe there are problems in the relationship that you just can’t get past. Making a big change is tough, but if it needs to happen you will be better off in the future.
Have an honest think about your happiness and put yourself first, don’t settle for any less than you deserve because you will find someone who treats you right. Does your relationship bring out the best in you and push you to do better and strive for your goals?
Going back to the dating scene after a serious relationship can be pretty daunting. Give yourself time to heal and solely work on yourself. Being single gives you so much time to focus on yourself and your own goals. All those things you want to do? You should go and do them.
- Self Care September | Free Downloadable Workbook
- How to get motivated
- Why you need goals
- Change your life | Law Of Attraction
- Trust the timing of your life
I’m sure this post will be very useful for people in that situation! Good points, thank you for sharing 🙂
Thank you for reading Vicki <3
Loved reading your blog post ❤ takes me back to a time where I had to make a difficult decision. More people need to follow this advice keep up with the great posts can’t wait to read them x
Thank you so much, glad you liked it 🙂 xx
Trust is a huge deal for me so I really agree with that. You’ve made a lot of great points.
Faye Jessica | fayejessica.co.uk
Definitely Faye! If there are problems with trust, the relationship is likely to crumble. Thanks so much for reading xx
Some really great points made xx
Thanks for reading Sarah xx
This is such a great post! I ended a long-term relationship 3 years ago and I would’ve found this post helpful. I’m sure it’ll help others. xx
Thanks for reading Laura xx
Trust is such a huge one. Values are too! It was constant bickering that ended my last long term relationship. This is such a great list for anyone having doubts to consider x
Thank you so much for reading Sophie! Xx
You have pointed out some fair points. sometimes It takes so much courage to end a relationship, because you have been in it so long. I’m sure this post will help a lot of people realise that ending it is for the best.
Keeley – http://www.vibesifeus.com
It definitely takes courage, I have now been in the position a fair few times where I have had to call it quits. Hopefully, this provides some guidance for others also. Thanks so much for reading xx