Life comes in waves; the good and the bad. It’s inevitable. Nothing is permanent, our circumstances change, even the people in our life come and go. Most of us know this, yet we still don’t give ourselves the love we so freely give to others. If you truly know your value and respect who you are, inside and out, it shines through in your confidence and changes your outlook on life. When you build a positive relationship with yourself, you see the possibilities in life and are able to embrace change. It all starts with you.
How to love yourself first
1. Take some time to figure YOU out
We are constantly surrounded by distractions. How often do you spend some time, thinking about you and your life? Do you know what you truly want in life? Do you have specific goals? Are these individual or is the success of them tied to someone else? Nothing is ever guaranteed, it’s important that you know who you are, as an individual.
2. Know your worth
I think this comes with life experience and age, but its definitely something that you can intentionally work on. Learn to see the good things in yourself and improve on your weaknesses, lets be real, we all have them and there’s nothing wrong with that. It takes work and you will need to break old habits and negative narratives, but you will get there if you continually focus on it. Just remember, that nobody is YOU, you are unique.
3. Feel complete on your own
Whether you are single or in a relationship, the label makes no difference on your self worth whatsoever. When you love yourself and put yourself first, anyone that comes into your life compliments it. You shouldn’t be losing who you are or having to change for someone else. You definitely shouldn’t be relying on someone else to build your self esteem. Going through breakups can be really tough, but also a great time to find yourself. Its important not to jump from relationship to relationship, re-adjust to being on your own. Think about the positives and negatives from your experiences, what will you do differently. What do you want to look for in a partner?
4. Stand by your values
When you are sure about yourself and what you believe in, you set the tone for the relationships around you. When you are true to yourself it becomes easier to see when someone isn’t on the same page as you. Then it’s down to you to determine the future of this connection. Be around people that value the same things as you do.
5. Embrace your own life journey
We are all on our own path and no two journeys look the same. So why do we compare ourselves to each other? You are setting yourself up for failure. When you embrace that your journey is unique and you can’t plan everything, you learn to just enjoy each day as it comes and fully enjoy life.
6. Invest in yourself
I will say this time and time again. We live in this digital era where you can literally learn anything online. So why not utilize it? Instead of spending money on material items that make no difference to you once the instant gratification has gone, invest in things that will leave a lasting change; books, course etc.
7. Be Unapologetically You.
When you are in a state of abundance, you have a positive outlook on life. You can also think about all decisions logically because you aren’t afraid of losing. You aren’t losing, you are just changing paths. So just be you, everything will fall into place and you will attract like-minded people.
8. Be Honest
If you find yourself being led down a path that you don’t want to go down or you feel something is off. It’s best just to be honest with yourself and do what’s necessary to change your path. It’s never too late to walk away, be it a job, a relationship, the place you live. Literally anything can be changed, you are not stuck. Don’t be afraid of the unknown, it’s better to feel uncomfortable for a little while than live your life feeling unhappy.
Facing the problem | No distractions
Self love journeys usually arise from major life changes/shifts. Some people will tell you to dive into all these things and essentially serve yourself distractions. However, I think it’s really important just to give yourself time. Learn from your past and put the work into yourself in order to allow healing. If you just bury problems, chances are they will arise again in the future.
It feels very freeing when you don’t question yourself and know your value and what you have to offer. You then know that if someone does you wrong, this is a full reflection of them and has nothing to do with you. Set a standard for your life and what you are happy to accept and be willing to walk away if it doesn’t meet your expectation. It can be really hard, but always remember who is number one on your priorities; YOU ARE.